Meringue and chocolate pudding pie

I modified this from my sister-in-law's pie, which she labeled "Jean Green Chocolate Pie".

Blind bake a standard pie crust:  20 minutes with pie weights, followed by 15 minutes without, at 375 F.

In a large sauce pan, melt butter over low heat, then whisk in:

1. 1 stick (1/2 c) butter, melted
2. 4 egg yolks (whites reserved)

Next whisk in dry ingredients to get a thick batter:

1. 8 3/4 oz sugar (1 1/4 c)
2. 1 1/8 oz flour (1/4 c)
3. 1 oz unsweetened cocoa powder (1/3 c)
4. dash of salt

Slowly whisk in milk to get smooth mixture:

1. 1 1/4 c milk
2. 1 t vanilla extract

In stand mixer, whisk to soft peaks (or just shy of):

1. 4 reserved egg whites
2. 1/4 t cream of tartar

Meanwhile, cover and bring to boil in saucepan:

1. 9 oz sugar (1 1/4 c)
2. 2 oz water (1/4 c)
3. pinch of salt

With mixer running slowly, pour boiling sugar syrup into egg whites.  Increase speed to high and whip until cooled.  Put custard into pie crust, top with Italian meringue.  Serve chilled.

Chinese chicken

The best home versions of General Tso's Chicken and Orange Chicken that I've had come from Serious Eats.  However, I usually want to skip the frying and just have the sauce on plain chicken breasts.

General Tso's sauce

Saute until soft but not browned:

1. 2 t peanut or canola oil
2. 2 t minced garlic (2 cloves)
3. 2 t minced ginger (1" piece)
4. 2 t minced scallion, white parts (1 scallion)
5. 1/4 t crushed red pepper flakes

Whisk together, then add to pan and cook until thickened:

1. 3 T dark soy sauce
2. 2 T Shaoxing wine or dry Sherry
3. 2 T rice vinegar
4. 3 T chicken stock (or 1/2 t Better Than Bullion + 3 T water)
5. 4 T sugar
6. 1 t sesame oil
7. 1 T cornstarch

Orange sauce

Saute until soft but not browned:

1. 2 t peanut or canola oil
2. 2 t minced garlic (2 cloves)
3. 2 t minced ginger (1" piece)
4. 2 t minced scallion, white parts (1 scallion)
5. 1/4 t crushed red pepper flakes

Whisk together, then add to pan and cook until thickened:

1. 1 T dark soy sauce
2. 2 T Shaoxing wine or dry Sherry
3. 2 T rice vinegar
4. 3 T chicken stock (or 1/2 t Better Than Bullion + 3 T water)
5. 4 T sugar
6. 1 t sesame oil
7. 2 t zest and 1/4 c juice from one orange
8. 4 strips dried orange peel*
9. 1 T cornstarch

* Orange peel can be dried at 225 F, being carefully not to let it darken/burn.

Potato cinnamon rolls

This is my current favorite cinnamon roll recipe, adapted from "Jailhouse potato-cinnamon rolls" in Pastry Queen by Rebecca Rather.  I've added an overnight rise inspired by Alton Brown, cut the recipe in half so it fits in a mixer, and found I need more flour (and more baking time) than Rather claims.  The recipe still feeds an army (16 good-sized rolls), but it can be doubled with big enough bowls.  (Use 3 whole eggs instead of 2 eggs and 2 yolks.)

Start by peeling, cubing,  and boiling one medium russet potato for ~15 minutes in unsalted water.  Save the water and let it cool to ~110 F (or add a little ice to speed it on its way).  Mash 8 oz of potato in the stand mixer using the beater or whisk.  Now, you can combine the other ingredients directly in the mixer using the whisk:

1. 8 oz (1 c) mashed russet potato
2. 1.5 c potato water, cooled to <110 f="" li="">
3. 4 t (0.5 oz) rapid-rise or bread-machine yeast
4. 2 5/8 oz (3/8 c) sugar
5. 1 stick (1/2 c) butter, melted
6. 1 egg plus 1 yolk
7. 1 t salt

Whisk well to combine, then use the dough hook to mix in flour just until the dough comes together:

1. 30 oz (~6 c) unbleached all-purpose flour

Let dough rise, covered, until doubled, about 1 hour.  (It will fill the mixer bowl to the top.)
For the filling, use either

1. 2 c brown sugar
2. 1 T cinnamon
3. 2 c toasted pecans (optional)

or

1. 2 c granulated sugar
2. 1 T orange zest (from one orange)

Divide the dough in half, and roll each half out into a large rectangle.  Brush each half with

1. 2-3 T melted butter

Top each dough half with half the filling, roll it up, and slice into 8 rolls (16 total).  We typically arrange these as a Christmas tree shape on a half sheet pan (rows of 1, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1).  You could also put them in a 9x13 pan (5 rows of 3, cut one less roll) or two smaller pans.  Refrigerate overnight;  rolls will rise slowly.  Alternately, freeze rolls and wrap well;  thaw overnight in the refrigerator.

Remove rolls from refrigerator and preheat oven to 375 F.  (Set rolls over a pan of hot water if they need to rise more, although they will expand significantly in the oven.)  Bake rolls until dough is set in the centermost rolls, about 35-40 minutes in the Christmas tree configuration.  I think the dough in the middle needs to reach 175-180 F or so to set -- in the Christmas tree configuration, the rolls on the edges are deeply browned by this point.  Next time I might try a somewhat lower temperature for a longer time, or tenting the top with foil.  Baking time in a high-sided pan is likely to be quite different, but might result in more uniform rolls.

Cinnamon rolls should be frosted with

1. 4 3/4 oz (1 1/4 c) powdered sugar
2. 2 T buttermilk (or milk)
3. 1/4 t vanilla extract

Orange rolls should be frosted with

1. 4 3/4 oz (1 1/4 c) powdered sugar
2. 2 T fresh-squeezed orange juice (from one orange)
3. 1 T orange zest (from one orange)

I've tried using orange extract to amp up the orange flavor of these rolls, but the alcohol gave it an unpleasant taste.  I'm considering a mixed citrus version (lime?  grapefruit?) next year.

Croissant French Toast

Best French toast ever, period.  Wish I could claim to have invented it, but that honor goes to my mother-in-law Jeanne.  Apparently there was a morning where some old croissants were the only bread around, and the rest is history.  They become tender without losing their structure, they brown beautifully, and of course they're chock full of buttery goodness.

These don't require top-notch croissants -- we've used ones from Costco and Food Lion so far.  You want to halve them through the equator, so you expose a lot of the inside surface.  If they're small, you can cut them not-quite-through, so you get a butterfly shape.  The rest of the recipe is pretty standard.  You just want to dunk them into the custard, let the excess drip off, and then put them in the pan.  If you leave them soaking, (1) you'll need more custard and (2) they may fall apart.

Heat a griddle or 12" skillet over medium.  In a medium bowl, whisk

1. 3 eggs
2. 1 c milk
3. 1 T sugar
4. salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg to taste

Into this mixture, dip

1. croissants, halved

Fry croissants in batches in a few tablespoons of butter until nicely browned on both sides.  Hold in warm oven until ready to serve.  Serve with syrup or cinnamon sugar.

Triple-chocolate crunchy cookies

These were an attempt to replicate a store-bought cookie from my childhood for a local cookie contest.  Although they flopped at the contest, my family loves them.  First I make two very crunchy, chocolate cookies with chocolate chips.  Then I sandwich them around a chocolate ganache filling.  For the grownups, I spice the ganache with cinnamon and cayenne.  I also put a little gelatin in the ganache to firm it up, because there's nothing worse than cookie filling that squoozes out the sides when you bite it.

To get the cookies really crispy-crunchy, I used a lot of tricks from this page:  I used white sugar instead of brown, used high-protein flour, melted the butter, and swapped the whole eggs for whites only.  I also added some extra baking soda (as is sometimes done with crackers).  But I ultimately had to resort to double-baking the cookies, biscotti-style, to get them to stay crisp once filled.

In a medium bowl, sift together:

1. 5.25 oz (1 c + 2 T) King Arthur all-purpose flour
2. 1 oz (1/3 c) cocoa powder
3. 3/4 t baking soda
4. 1/4 t salt

In a standing mixer, combine with the paddle:

1. 5.25 oz (3/4 c) granulated sugar
2. 1 stick (8 T) butter, melted
3. 1 egg white
4. 1 t vanilla extract

Mix in the dry ingredients, just until thoroughly combined, followed by

1. 5.25 oz (1 c) chocolate chips

Chill the dough while the oven preheats to 375 F, about 20-30 minutes.  Line three cookie sheets with parchment.  Portion the dough by generous rounded half tablespoons, to give 36 cookies (12 per sheet).  Smash the balls into disks, so the final cookie sandwiches won't be too thick.  Bake each sheet for 14 minutes, one at a time, and let cookies cool on the sheet.  Turn the oven down to 300 F.  (I leave the oven door cracked for ~10 minutes to speed this up.)  Bake the cookies for another 15 minutes to dry them out and make them really crunchy.  You can also consolidate the cookies down to two sheets at this point, and even bake one on the lower rack and one on the other if you're in a hurry.  When they're done, let them cool completely on the cookie sheets.

In the meantime, in a 2-cup Pyrex measuring cup, combine in this order:

1. 1/4 t powdered gelatin (such as Knox)
2. 1/4 t ground cinnamon
3. 1/8 t ground cayenne pepper
4. 1.5 oz heavy cream
5. 6 oz chocolate chips
6. pinch of salt

Microwave on high ~45 seconds, then whisk until smooth.  Let cool on counter until cookies are ready.  Ganache may look slightly oily / broken;  it will be fine, just stir it back together before spreading.  Spread filling on the bottom of one cookie and top with another, to make 18 sandwiches.  Keeps up to a week in a tightly sealed plastic container.

Takeout Asian Chicken

A work-in-progress recipe that's a little like General Tso's, my favorite take-out dish.  Sauce inspired by Mean Guy's, though I'm curious if I could incorporate some tamarind paste for a different twist...

Whisk together

1. 1 egg white
2. splash soy sauce

Mix to coat

1. 1 lb. chicken breast, large cubes

Drain chicken and coat in

1. 1 c seasoned flour

Pan fry over medium-high heat until crispy, golden brown, and done through.  Remove to clean bowl.

Meanwhile, in a small bowl, whisk

1. 4 T sugar
2. 4 T soy sauce
3. 2 T rice vinegar
4. 2 T water or white wine
5. 1/4 t Better Than Bullion Chicken concentrate
6. sriracha, to taste

Cook in the now-empty pan until thickened into a glaze, a few minutes.  Pour over fried chicken and toss to coat.  Serve with rice and green vegetables (broccoli, snap or sweet peas, etc).  To have everything done at the same time, start white rice just prior to heating the pan for the chicken.

Chewy Granola Bars

Although granola is awesome, bars are easier to transport.  This recipe and variations on it has been my daily breakfast for the past few months.  I adapted it from Smitten Kitchen, who adapted it from King Arthur Flour.  I've reworked the process to dirty the absolute minimum number of dishes, taking good advantage of the kitchen scale.

In the food processor, combine these ingredients.  Process the oats to flour, then add the fruit and chop, then add the nuts and chop again:

1. 1 1/2 (1/3 c) oz old-fashioned oats, processed to flour
2. 5 oz (1 c) dried fruit, such as apricots or figs
3. 5 oz  (1 c) nuts, such as pecans or peanuts

In the bowl you just used for weighing the fruit and nuts, now combine these ingredients and whisk together until smooth:

1. 1/2 oz (1 T) water
2. 1 3/8 oz (2 T) corn syrup
3. 3 3/8 oz (1/4 c) honey
4. 3 1/2 oz (1/2 c) granulated sugar
5. 2 5/8 oz (6 T) oil, such as canola
6. 2 7/8 oz (1/3 c) nut butter, such as peanut or almond
7. 1 t vanilla
8. 1/4 t cinnamon
9. 1/2 t salt

Mix in the contents of the food processor plus:

1. 5 1/2 oz (1 2/3 c) old-fashioned oats
2. 5 oz (1 c) chocolate chips (optional but encouraged)

Line a 9" x 9" pan with greased aluminum foil or parchment paper.  (The paper is harder to work, but doesn't leave little slivers of foil in your bars when you cut them.)  Use plastic wrap to keep your hands clean while you pack the granola very firmly into the pan.  Cook for 35-40 min at 350 F, until they're bubbly and have picked up some color.  Cool completely before cutting (I cut into 16 squares), store in refrigerator.  If bars are too crumbly, cook them longer next time.  The add-ins (fruit, nuts, and chocolate) can be exchanged for other ingredients as long as the total is kept at 10-15 oz / 2-3 cups.

Mag Grill Grits Souffle

I was flipping through the Magnolia Grill cookbook while waiting on my dentist, and came across this gem.  It's similar to my favorite cheese grits recipe, but kicks it up with eggs, butter, and garlic.  (The garlic is strangely delicious.)  Texturally, it's not quite like a souffle, but it's definitely lighter than standard grits and just slightly fluffy.  Yum.  This recipe makes 8 generous servings, and I'm betting it's not as good reheated, so plan to serve a crowd.

In a 3 qt. pot, bring to a boil

1. 2 c chicken stock
2. 1 c water
3. 1 c half and half
4. 2 t Kosher salt

Stir in

1. 1 c grits (not instant!)

and cook, stirring constantly, until thick and creamy.  Spoon some hot grits into

1. 4 egg yolks (whites reserved)

to temper, then stir yolk mixture into grits.  Stir in

1. 6 oz (1.5 c) shredded Cheddar
2. 4 T butter
3. 1/4 c roasted garlic paste or 1 T minced fresh garlic
4. Tabasco, salt, and black pepper to taste

Allow grits to cool at room temperature.  One hour before serving, preheat oven to 375 F.  Beat the 4 reserved egg whites to stiff peaks, and fold into the grits.  (Also fold in 1/2 c sliced scallions if desired, I didn't have any on hand.)  Spray 2 qt casserole with PAM (or rub with butter), and fill with grits.  Bake 35-40 minutes, until puffed and set.  Serve hot.

Ethereal buttercream frosting

This is my new favorite frosting, inspired by some cupcakes from an unknown Cary bakery.  There were piled high with frosting, but it was very airy, not too sweet, and not too rich.  Even though there was a lot of it, it was delicious and not at all overwhelming.

This recipe was derived from one by King Arthur Flour, for 7 minute frosting, a.k.a. Italian meringue.  I increased the sugar a little, added cornstarch in hopes of stabilizing the meringue, and beat in some butter.  The recipe seems fairly robust at this point, and much less fussy than the Swiss meringue buttercreams I tried.  Also, with this proportion of sugar to egg white (and the whites starting at room temperature), the whole mix gets up to 155 F (in my kitchen at least), which should be enough to fully cook the egg and alleviate any food safety concerns.  However, if you're cooking for the very young, the very old, pregnant women, or immune-compromised individuals, you might consider pasturized eggs or whites for extra safety.

This frosting works best cold, at refrigerator temperatures.  Fully chilled, it's firm but still quite spreadable / pipeable.  I've kept it that way for a week with no problem.  It probably shouldn't be left at room temperature for more than a few hours, not least because at warmer temperatures the frosting starts to get a bit runny.  (The shortening should help with that somewhat.)  It also tastes a bit too sweet and marshmallowy for my liking when warm;  the amount of sugar is calibrated for serving it cold.

To start, cut the butter into tablespoons and separate the egg whites;  allow both to come to room temperature.  In the bowl of a stand mixer, place

1. 2 egg whites (about 2.5 oz)
2. 1/4 t cream of tartar

Whisk until foamy and increased in volume.  The whites should mound in the bowl, but ideally are not yet holding a soft peak.

In a medium saucepan, while whites are whipping, whisk together and bring to a boil

1. 1 T cornstarch
2. 9 oz sugar (1 1/4 c)
3. 2 oz water (1/4 c)
4. 1/8 t salt

Cover saucepan briefly to wash any sugar crystals from sides.  Try to time it so that syrup boils just as whites reach stiff peaks.  If needed, rest syrup off heat while whites finish;  underbeaten whites will keep the frosting from reaching full volume.  When sugar is completely dissolved and whites are fully whipped, slowly pour syrup down the side of the mixer bowl with mixer running on medium speed.  (Be careful not to splatter hot syrup on yourself!)  Increase speed to high and whip until meringue is thick, fluffy, and shiny.  Reduce speed to medium and continue whisking until cooled, about 10 minutes.  Frosting can be used as-is at this point, or ...

One tablespoon at a time, beat in

1. 1 oz vegetable shortening, such as Crisco (2 T)
2. 3 oz butter (6 T)
3. 1 t vanilla extract

The frosting will be bright white at this point, but it takes gel food color very nicely.  The frosting will deflate somewhat as the fats are added, and may become quite runny, depending on how warm the ingredients are.  (Butter may be substituted for the shortening, but this will exacerbate the runniness.)  No worries, the frosting will firm up when chilled in the refrigerator.  After chilling, use for frosting cakes, cupcakes, or even Oreo cookies!

Beautiful Burger Buns

This is straight out of the King Arthur Flour Baker's Companion, a fantastic cookbook.  Despite the name, they also make killer hotdog buns.  Originally appearing on the Internet courtesy of "Moomie" (Ellen Dill), many of the versions turned up by Google are just too dry, and hence too dense.  Here's my take on the recipe:

In the large bowl of a stand mixer, whisk together:

1. 14 oz (about 3 c) all-purpose flour
2. 1.75 oz (1/4 c) sugar
3. 1 t salt
4. 1 T instant / rapid-rise yeast (yes, really:  1 full tablespoon)

Whisking at this step avoids clumping when the liquid is added.  For onion rolls, add 1 t onion powder and 1/2 t dried minced onion.  Instead of King Arthur flour, I actually prefer a generic, slightly softer all-purpose flour in this recipe, strangely enough.  Now add:

1. 8 oz (1 c) warm water
2. 1 large egg
3. 1 oz (2 T) butter, melted

Mix with the dough hook until smooth, soft, and well-mixed, about 5 minutes.  It will be too wet to kneed easily by hand, so the mixer is really helpful here.  Scrape down the bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and let rise for 1 hour.

Flour the dough generously and scrape onto the counter.  Divide into 8 equal pieces for burger buns, 12 for hotdog buns.  Shape into balls and flatten (or stretch out) and place on a baking sheet fitted with a Silpat or parchment.  (Use flour to keep them from sticking to you, but only as much as necessary.)  Let rise 30-40 minutes.  They'll stick to any kind of covering, so I use some tall cooling racks and kitchen towels to make a no-touch "tent" over the rolls.  Bake at 375 F for ~14 minutes, until golden.  Optionally, brush with 1T melted butter when they come out.  For sesame or poppy seed rolls, brush with egg wash prior to baking and then sprinkle on the seeds.  Like all breads, these are best the same day, but they do freeze well.

Filled chocolate truffles

I've heard "truffle" used two ways with chocolate -- either simple balls of ganache covered in cocoa / sugar / chopped nuts, or a formed chocolate shell holding some kind of filling.  The former are pretty straightforward, but the latter are generally the domain of professional chocolate shops.  So of course, that's what we wanted to make for our friends and family this Christmas!  Although it takes time, it's not that hard to produce an attractive -- and tasty -- result!  (Flawless is still for the pros, though.)

Ingredients & Equipment

• Couverture chocolate.  This is high quality chocolate containing extra cocoa butter, and is used for the chocolate shell.  The extra fat (cocoa butter) allows the chocolate to be tempered, producing a hard, shiny coat.  Although I haven't tried it myself, the lore is that trying to use grocery-store chocolate for the shell will give poor results.  (For a ganache filling, though, cheaper stuff seems fine to me.)  The best deal I found was $15 + $10 shipping for 1 kg (2.2 lbs) of Callebaut from Golda's Kitchen on Amazon.  I got about 4 dozen truffles per kilogram, but there's always a little waste at the end, so order at least 2 kg.
• Chocolate molds.  These are simple plastic trays that for molding the truffles.  Lots of different sizes are available.  The stated volumes seem to be for solid chocolates, so you'll get more for filled ones.  I bought three 6 x 1 oz molds from Amazon.  More molds make faster work, but more than about four would be hard to manage at one time.
• Instant-read digital thermometer.  Temperature (within 1 degree F) is critical for getting a good temper on the chocolate.  Don't skip this.
• Marble slab / stone counter / sheet pan.  Ideally, you'd have a smooth, hard stone surface for tempering the chocolate.  But I didn't, so I used the back of a cookie sheet.  It's not ideal, but it's certainly workable.  Make sure it's flat and clean.

Tempering the Chocolate


Tempering chocolate consists of melting it completely and then cooling it in a controlled way.  The even cooling causes the fats to solidify in the uniform structure that produces a smooth, hard, shiny surface when the chocolate sets.

If you didn't buy callets (chips), chop the chocolate.  You'll want at least enough to fill all your molds once.  More won't hurt, you can re-use any leftovers.  Melt them in a double boiler with 140 F water, top vessel not touching the water.  Stir gently but continuously -- getting the chocolate over 140 F will scorch it, but you don't want to whip in any air.  Also watch out for water -- even a small amount of water in the chocolate will ruin it.  Keep stirring until the chocolate gets to 115 - 120 F.  (Temperatures here are for dark chocolate;  they vary somewhat for white or milk chocolate.)

Pour most (~3/4) of the chocolate out on your work surface, set the rest aside, off the heat.  Spread it thin to help it cool, and keep folding it back on itself to mix it.  I used an offset spatula in one hand and a metal bench scraper in the other.  When the chocolate gets cool enough, it will abruptly set up into a thick paste.  Scoop this back into your double boiler and stir until smooth.  If the combined chocolate is now down to 82 - 83 F, you're done.  Otherwise, pour some out and repeat -- you'll need less (maybe half) and it will set up faster (since it started off cooler).

The chocolate is now tempered.  (You can test this by dipping a corner of parchment in the paper, folding it back on itself, and freezing for a minute or two.  When set, it should break with a crisp crack.)  But to work with it, you'll want to re-warm it over the double boiler to 87 - 90 F.  Above ~93 F, the chocolate will start to lose its temper, so keep a thermometer in it while you're doing this.  You'll probably need to re-warm the chocolate before each of the following steps.

Pour the warm chocolate into the prepared molds, filling them completely.  It works best if you stop just shy of the rim -- too full and the truffles will have a little rim around the bottom.  Let the molds sit at room temperature for 4 - 5 minutes (no more), then turn them upside down and give a gentle shake over your work surface.  The molten centers should fall out, leaving chocolate shells in the molds.  Freeze the molds for 5 minutes to fully set the shells.  Scoop the chocolate on the work surface back into your double boiler to reuse.

Fill the shells with whatever you like (see below for suggestions).  Fillings should be cool (no more than 80 F) so they don't melt the shells.  If the filling seems thin, freeze for a another 5 minutes before capping.  (Otherwise, the cap chocolate may sink into it!)  To cap, pour a little more tempered couverture chocolate over the filling.  I find shaking the mold gently after pouring each one helps the cap spread out smoothly.  Work as quickly as you can;  the chocolate will want to set up almost immediately.  Freeze the truffles for 15 minutes to fully set them, then gently turn them out of the molds.  They should come out very easily -- I think the freezing makes them pull away from the mold slightly.

We decorated them with edible glitter dust.  We brushed the truffles with a little water to make it stick -- water doesn't seem to hurt them once they're solid.  We also tried colored icing on a later batch, which worked OK, but didn't look quite as good.

Whisky Ganache Filling

In a microwave-safe bowl, combine

1. 8 oz chocolate chips
2. 4 oz (1/2 c) heavy cream

Microwave about 30 seconds, until chocolate is soft.  Stir gently until smooth.  Stir in

1. 2 oz (4 T) Scotch whiskey

Let sit to cool to 80 F or less.

Any sort of liquor can be substituted:  kirsch, Chambord, creme de menthe, triple sec, etc. are all good.  We even considered tequila with candied lime peel and sea salt, but never got around to it.

Cabernet Reduction Filling

This is basically a wine jelly, a filling we invented for my father-in-law.  It's derived from this recipe.  In a small bowl, place

1. 1 packet (0.25 oz) unflavored gelatin, such as Knox
2. 3 T red wine

The wine will hydrate the gelatin.  I found it best to pour the wine over top of it.  In a medium saucepan, combine

1. 1 bottle (750 ml) red wine (3 T reserved above)
2. 6 T sugar

Boil the mix until reduced to 3/4 c (6 fl oz).  Pour it into a Pyrex measuring cup to make sure;  this needs to be pretty accurate, within about a quarter ounce.  Stir in the hydrated gelatin until melted.  This filling will probably still be liquid when you fill the truffles, it takes hours or days to set, but it does eventually set.

Dulce de Leche Filling

This is a wonderful, easy caramel sauce that I love.  Simply submerse an unopened 14 oz can of sweetened condensed milk into a saucepan of water, and simmer for 90 minutes.  Do not, under any circumstances, allow the pan to run dry, or you may get an exploding can of hot caramel.  If you keep it at a simmer and keep the pan covered you should have no problem.  The label will probably fall off, but the canned caramel can be stored in the pantry for months.  Just pop the top and fill the chocolate shells when you're finally ready.  Do two or three cans at once so you'll have extra for pound cake, cheesecake, ice cream, etc.

Bacon caramels with smoked salt

The holidays always make me want to bake.  And for some reason, they particularly make me want to try something new or more elaborate than I've done before.  So this year, I've been making a lot of candy for Christmas.  Even as a kid, I was at least as partial to caramel flavors as to chocolate.  I also have my mother's love of salt, so salted caramel is a near-perfect candy already.

Which brings me to bacon caramel.  This variation was inspired by my brother-in-law Tommy, who is (tragically!) allergic to chocolate, and who generally prefers meat to candy.  When I tell people about this flavor combo, I usually get raised eyebrows at a minimum.  I, too, was skeptical.  But then the folks who dip their bacon in the leftover pancake syrup start to reconsider.  And after testing on a dozen friends and co-workers, there's been a unanimous thumbs up.

I wish I could claim to have thought of it first, but a quick Google proves I didn't.  Still, I think my version packs in more bacon deliciousness than any of the other contenders!  What follows is a basic recipe for caramels from the Ultimate Southern Living Cookbook, followed by the bacon version and two other sweet variations.

Basic Caramels

If using a candy thermometer, put it in a pot of boiling water to see how far off 212 F it is.  Match the depth of the water to the expected depth of the caramel mixture.  If you're inclined to skip this step, don't use a thermometer at all -- it will likely do you more harm than good.

In a large, deep pot, combine

1. 2 sticks (1 c) butter
2. 2 c (14 oz) granulated sugar
3. 2 c (16 oz) light corn syrup
4. 1 c heavy whipping cream

Stainless steel is preferable because it makes it easier to judge the color of the caramel, but anything will work.  Use a big pot, much bigger than you think you need;  this stuff expands a lot.  Cook over medium to around 224 F, stirring occasionally.  Adjust the target temperature based on how far off your thermometer is.  If it read e.g. 206 in the boiling water (6 degrees off), you'll want to target 224 - 6 = 218 F.  While it's bubbling, cover it with a lid for a few minutes -- the steam should wash down in stray sugar crystals stuck to the sides.  (With so much corn syrup, I don't think there's much danger of crystallization, but it can't hurt.)  Now stir in

1. 1 c heavy whipping cream

I'm not sure why recipes have you add the cream in two additions.  I'd guess only the final temperature matters, but I keep doing it this way out of superstition.  Now the precise part:  cook to exactly 246 - 248 F (again adjusted for your thermometer).  The mixture will take on that signature caramel color and a thick, stringy texture when stirred (reminiscent of a starter sponge for yeast dough).  A degree more or less at this stage makes a noticeable difference in the texture of the candy:  too low, and the caramel will ooze;  too high, and the caramel will be brittle.  I like to reduce the heat to low at this point so the caramel cooks a little more slowly, and I have more wiggle room.

About 5 degrees before done, start dropping spoonfuls of caramel into a little bowl of ice water.  Squeeze it flat with your fingers to help it chill.  When it's room temperature, pull it out and chew to check the texture.  When it's done, the super thin and spindly edges will probably crack (because they got colder) and the body of it will have a pleasantly firm chew.  It doesn't hurt to pull the pot off the heat while you're checking, so it doesn't get away from you.

Finally, stir in

1. 2 t vanilla extract

and any other last-minute additions.  Pour into a well-greased 9 x 13 baking pan.  I like to line mine with foil first (nonstick, if you've got it) to make things easier.  Sprinkle with

1. Fleur de sel or other coarse salt

if you like.  Let cool to room temperature, then cut into squares.

Bacon Caramels (original)

Before starting, thoroughly cook

1. 1/2 lb bacon, chopped

Stir often and lower the heat as it approaches done, to avoid burning.  Continue cooking until all fat is rendered and all bacon is very crisp.  Transfer bacon to paper towel-lined plate.  Chop bacon finely.  Pour hot bacon grease through a coffee filter set in a strainer, into a heatproof measuring cup.  (This is to remove any bits that might burn or spoil later.)  Use bacon grease to replace an equal amount of butter in the basic recipe (about 1/4 cup, half a stick).  Fold bacon in at the end, with the vanilla.  I like to use

1. applewood-smoked sea salt

from the Spice & Tea Exchange to top the caramels and really up that smokey bacon flavor.

Pecan Praline Caramels (original)

Replace 1 c of granulated sugar with 1 c brown sugar, and fold in 8 oz chopped toasted pecans with the vanilla.  Top with salt.

Ginger Fleur-de-sel Caramels (original)

Before starting, place ~2 oz peeled, thin-sliced ginger in a saucepan with the cream, and bring to a gentle simmer.  Turn off the heat and leave the ginger to steep for at least 15 minutes.  This imparts a subtle ginger note to the caramels without being too obvious.

Hot sauce

I've been on a hot sauce kick lately, ever since I had the homemade stuff at Dame's Chicken and Waffles.  His is still better than mine, but he won't give up the recipe, so I'm stuck inventing my own.  This is the best I've come up with so far -- not bad if I say so myself.  And it's a great use for all the dried peppers I made the last two summers and didn't know what to do with.

Cut the top quarter off of

1. 1 head garlic (whole)

Drizzle with olive oil, and roast for about 1 hour at 300 F.  (I did this in the toaster oven and it worked fine.)  Remove from oven and let cool.  This is a lot of garlic, but roasting makes it mellow and sweet.  It helps lend body to the sauce too.

Meanwhile, stem and seed

1. 10 medium cayenne peppers, dried

Best method I've found is to break off the stem end and the tip, then root around in the middle with a toothpick.  Might be good to wear gloves while you're doing this.  You'll invariably miss a few seeds, but try to get most of them.  They don't blend up all that well, and the add a lot of extra (unwanted) heat.  Add

1. 1 cup water

Bring to a slow boil, uncovered, and reduce until only 1-2 T of liquid remain.  (Peppers should be fully rehydrated.)  Remove from heat, let cool.  Seeding the peppers makes me sneeze, and the fumes when boiling can be pretty assertive.  Oh, and wash the pot thoroughly after -- apparently I didn't the first time, and the next dish (chocolate sauce!) had a real kick to it...

Transfer garlic and peppers (with liquid) to the food processor.  Add

1. 1 c cider vinegar
2. 2 oz. roasted red peppers (from a jar)
3. 1 t salt
4. 1 t sugar

Process until smooth.  Strain through a coarse-mesh strainer into a Mason jar.  Refrigerate for a few days to allow flavors to blend.

If you're like Dame, serve it with waffles and fried chicken.  Or blend with mayo for a spicy cole slaw dressing.  Or whatever else you like to do with hot sauce...

Ginger ale -- REAL ginger ale

Ever since I tasted Reeds, I've had a thing for ginger ale.  If all you've ever had is Schweppes or Canada Dry, you're in for a treat.  Real ginger ale is sweet and sour and piquantly spicy all at the same time.  It's anything but the bland, pedestrian soda you sipped as a kid when you were sick (although the ginger in the real stuff may still be good for an upset stomach).

When we lived in Seattle, there was a coffee shop in Freemont that sold homemade ginger ale in unmarked brown glass bottles.  It was good stuff, but I don't know of an equivalent in Durham.  Besides, ever since I got into making wine, I've wanted to try making my own soft drinks.  As it turns out, making soda is far easier than making wine, and you get to enjoy the results a lot faster.

Yes, soda originally involved fermentation with yeast, back in the days before we made machines to force carbon dioxide into liquids under high pressure.  The process is essentially the same as making beer or wine, except the bottle is kept closed to capture the carbon dioxide generated by the yeast, and the fermentation is stopped early, before any significant amount of alcohol is produced.

There are a few tools and ingredients that you need, so I'll get those out of the way first.  Only two or three are truly unusual, so it's really not hard to get started!

• Wine yeast.  People generally recommend Red Star Premier Cuvee, as it ferments fast and clean.  I also tried Lalvin EC1118, but got less carbonation.  The little packets are about $1 each, so it's dead cheap if you have a homebrew store nearby.  If you do mail order, everybody charges $10 in shipping, although American Brewmaster in Raleigh was slightly cheaper.  It is possible to use regular baking yeast to make soda, but it adds some distinctive flavors that, while not terrible, are sort of distracting.  Having tried both, I'd highly recommend springing for the wine yeast.  Store it sealed in plastic in the freezer for up to a year.  Each packet holds enough to make several gallons.
• Food-grade citric acid.  Citric acid is what gives lemons and limes their zing, and what makes many soft drinks pleasantly tart.  You could use real lemon or lime juice, but I think you'd need a cup or two to get the same effect -- kind of a pain.  Many other recipes include cream of tartar (a.k.a. tartaric acid) instead, for "mouth feel", but I can't see that it contributes anything useful -- I think citric acid works much better.  You can get an 8 oz bag of citric acid from the New England Cheesemaking Supply Company for $5 and it will last you a lifetime.  Besides, you need to order...
• High thread count cheese cloth.  The "cheese cloth" you find in the grocery store is too open to actually catch much of anything;  the real stuff has a much tighter weave.  Get the 90 thread count Butter Muslin from New England Cheesemaking at the same time you get the citric acid.  A couple layers of this will catch most of the ginger residue when you strain your soda.
• Coffee filters (optional).  Straining the ginger ale through coffee filters removes the fine particles that otherwise make the final product hazy instead of clear.  The cheese cloth is still necessary to first remove 99% of the big chunks that would otherwise clog your coffee filters in an instant.
  
• Four 1L bottles or two 2L bottles.  Get plastic seltzer bottles (1L) or soda bottles (2L), ones that are designed to hold carbonated liquids under pressure.  I prefer the 1L bottles because there's less soda left over to go flat.  (However, bottles will re-pressurize to some extent as they sit in the fridge.)  If you try to use regular spring water bottles, they'll leak or deform or pop.  Plastic is also safer than glass (e.g. beer bottles), because you can feel how much pressure there is by squeezing, instead of taking you best guess and praying nothing explodes.
• Two large pots.  Each should hold a gallon of liquid comfortably.
• A sieve or strainer.  It's much easier if you can suspend this above one of the pots.  The mesh doesn't matter;  you'll line it with coffee filters and/or cheese cloth.
• A funnel and ladle.  For filling the bottles -- trying to pour from the big pot doesn't work so well  :)
• A food processor.  A blender might work in a pinch.  If you have a juicer, I hear this is great for ginger, but I haven't tried it personally.
• An instand-read thermometer.  For measuring the water temperature.  If you don't have one, 100 F feels like warm (but not hot) bathwater.  It's better to be a little under than a little over, because overly hot water will kill the yeast.
• A digital kitchen scale.  You can get by without it, but it makes all your cooking so much easier.  Spend $25 and pick one up from Amazon.  Get one that does at least 5 lbs. in 1/8 oz increments or finer.  You won't regret it.

Now, on to the recipe!  Because you're trying to grow microorganisms in sugar water on your countertop, cleanliness is worth paying attention to, so that you grow the right microorganisms.  But since it's only out for a few days before it goes in the fridge, you don't have to be crazy about, and you certainly don't have to sterilize everything.  A nice wash with soapy water will be just fine.

(3 oz peeled ginger)

In the food processor, combine

1. 3 oz peeled ginger root, or to taste
2. 18 oz granulated sugar (2 1/2 c)

Run the food processor for several minutes, until you have a uniform, light golden paste.  Processing the ginger with the sugar ensures that it gets chopped much finer than it would by itself.  Three ounces of ginger makes a pleasantly zippy ginger ale.  If you like more of a kick, try 6 oz.  I like it that way, though most of my friends don't.  I've tried all the way up to 12 oz, but it just burns your mouth and is no fun to drink.  Also, some recipes recommend using brown sugar, but I find this muddies the taste.

In a large pot over medium heat, bring to 100 F

1. 4 L water

Use your soda bottles to easily measure out 4 L of water.  Remove from heat, scrape in the ginger paste, then add

1. 3/4 t citric acid
2. 1 T vanilla extract (optional)

This is a good time to taste the mix, and adjust anything that wants adjusting.  Don't put your germy spoon back in the pot!  Let it sit for 10 or 15 minutes to make sure all the flavor gets extracted.

Set the collander over the clean pot, and line it with overlapping coffee filters.  Place several layers of fine cheese cloth over the filters.  Strain the mixture into the clean pot.  Sprinkle over top

1. 1/4 t Red Star Premier Cuvee yeast

Let sit for at least 15 minutes, and up to an hour.  Stir well, and use the funnel when ladling ginger ale into bottles.  Leave a little air space at the top.  Squeeze bottle gently to bring liquid all the way to the top, and cap tightly.

Your soda will ferment (and therefore carbonate) over the next 2 - 3 days.  It will probably take at least 24 hours before you see any activity.  The first signs are bubbles collecting on the sides of the bottle near the top.  Then the air space will re-appear at the top, and the sides will straighten. Shortly after, the bottle will start to become rigid, like an unopened bottle of soda from the store.  To some extent, the longer the fermentation continues, the more carbonated the drink will become.  Of course, as the pressure increases, so does the chance of an explosion!  I wait 24 hours (no more, no less) after the bottles first becomes rigid, and then move them to the refrigerator.  The low temperature effectively halts the fermentation, although if the bottles warm up again, fermentation will resume.  The total time from preparation to refrigerator is about 48 to 72 hours.  (For the nervous among you, don't stop early either, or your soda won't have much in the way of fizz!)

If you used the coffee filters, your ginger ale should end up mostly clear, although there will always be some ginger + dead yeast sediment in the bottom of the bottle.  If you skipped the coffee filters, it will be cloudier (but still delicious).  Try to pour gently, and you can leave most of the sediment in the bottom of the bottle.  Grab yourself a glass of ice, and enjoy!

According to my measurements, the ginger ale starts with enough sugar to generate 5% alcohol by volume, if it were fermented completely dry.  In practice, very little of the sugar is actually converted to alcohol.  Following the recipe above, there's so little alcohol I can't measure it when I transfer the bottles to the fridge.  I'd say it's less than a quarter of one percent.  There's probably more alcohol in a mouthful of beer or wine than in a whole bottle of my ginger ale, but still, use your best judgement.

The possible variations are almost endless.  All sorts of citrus flavorings would be welcome additions, and I've actually contemplated building a ginger ale on top of lemonade or limeade.  (You'd have to reduce the amount of added sugar, and probably eliminate the citric acid.)  One recipe I saw included spices like black pepper and cayenne.  And my mom suggested a vanilla ice cream - ginger ale float, which made me consider adding vanilla to the mix (though I'm not sure how, since I don't think the flavor extracts into water very efficiently).  Finally, you could double the sugar and start the fermentation with the bottles unsealed.  When you reached 5% alcohol, you could seal them up and end up with alcoholic ginger ale, which sounds fun.  (This would generate more sediment though;  I'm not sure how to deal with that.  You could do the primary fermentation in a separate vessel before bottling, but that's a good bit of extra work.)

I started this recipe from several excellent sources on the web (Jerry Halstead, Mark Sexauer, Jeffrey Morgenthaler), and refined it with a couple of rounds of experimentation.  I hope you enjoy it!  And I'd love to hear of any great variations you come up with.

Turnips and Onions

I had turnips for the first time this winter, thanks to Papa Spuds.  They kept showing up on the list, and I figured, if this is what grows in the winter in NC, I should learn to cook it.  As far as I can tell, people generally treat them like potatoes and mash them.  But they're less starchy and much more watery (so they cook down), and they have a distinctive, slightly sharp flavor.  It reminds me a little of horseradish, for some reason -- I think this dish would be amazing with a nice steak for that reason.

They look a bit homely, but trust me, this is good stuff for a cold winter night.

In salted water to cover, boil

1. 1 1/2 lbs. turnips, peeled and cubed (about 3 medium)

until tender, about 15 minutes.  Drain and return to the warm burner to dry slightly, then mash with a hand masher and mix with

1. 1/4 c cream

Place mashed turnips in a greased casserole dish.

While the turnips boil, put a large stainless steel skillet over medium heat.  (Nonstick won't work because the onions don't caramelize as well or develop as much fond, and cast iron won't work because you can't see the difference between caramelized and burnt against the dark surface.  Stainless it is.)  Add

1. 1 T butter
2. 1 T olive oil
3. 2 medium yellow onions, sliced
4. 1 t sugar
5. salt to taste

Cook, stirring frequently, until onions are soft and browned, and a thick layer of brown fond has collected on the bottom of the pan.  If the fond begins to turn very dark and look or smell burnt, reduce the heat!  To the hot skillet, add

1. 1/4 c water
2. 1 T balsamic vinegar

With a wooden spoon, stir rapidly, scraping the bottom of the pan clean.  All the fond should dissolve and coat the onions.  (Bonus:  cleanup will be easy.)  Continue to cook over medium-low heat until the excess water evaporates and the onions are coated a rich brown sauce.  (If you take it too far and bits begin to stick to the bottom again, add more water and repeat the cycle.)  Layer the onions over the turnips in the casserole.

Bake in a moderate oven until heated through and bubbling, about 15 minutes.  350 F will work fine, but so will most other temperatures, and the time isn't too critical.  This is a good way to hold the turnips until the rest of the meal comes together.  Both the turnips and the onions really cook down a surprising amount, so this only makes 3-4 servings.  I'm sure it could easily be doubled, though.

Blueberry jam muffins

This is a Cook's Illustrated recipe that addresses the only real problem with blueberry muffins:  you taste mostly muffin, and only a little blueberry.  The trick is to boil down some of the berries into jam, and then stir them into the muffins just before baking.

In a small saucepan, boil and mash until reduced to a thick jam:

1. 1 c (5 oz) blueberries, fresh or frozen
2. 1 t sugar

In a mixing bowl, whisk to combine

1. 2 1/2 c (12 1/2 oz) flour
2. 2 1/2 t baking powder
3. 1 t salt
4. 1 c (5 oz) blueberries, fresh or frozen

If using frozen berries, rinse them under cold water and dry them before adding them to the flour mixture.  In a separate bowl, whisk together

1. 2 eggs
2. 1 1/8 c (8 oz) sugar
3. 4 T (1/2 stick) butter, melted
4. 1/4 c vegetable oil
5. 1 c buttermilk
6. 1 1/2 t vanilla
7. zest of one orange (optional)

Gently fold wet and dry ingredients together, just until moistened.  (Some spots of dry flour may remain.)  Spoon batter into 12 greased, standard size muffin cups (cups will be full).  Divide jam among cups, swirling into the batter with a chopstick.  Sprinkle sugar over tops of muffins.  Bake at 425 for about 17 minutes, just until a toothpick comes out clean.  Cool for 5 minutes in the pan before transferring to rack to cool.

If using the orange zest, you can also make an orange glaze out of the orange juice and powdered sugar (approximately 1 cup) -- top the muffins with glaze before serving.  If not using the orange zest, you can incorporate lemon zest into the sugar used for topping the muffins.

Éclairs with peanut butter pastry cream

Pregnant women like éclairs.  Kind of a lot, actually.  I had been promising Katy I would make her some for a month before I finally got around to it, and as it happened my parents came to visit the next day.  Everybody was so taken with them that Katy and I decided to make more over Christmas, to celebrate my parents' anniversary.

As fancy as they look, the dough for these guys is a five minute proposition.  Really.  Amid some protest, I had Katy do this batch, and she admitted it was really easy.  (Of course, now she knows how to make them for herself, which could be dangerous  :)

There are lots of possibilities for filling, from whipped cream to ice cream.  I tried pudding once, but it was too wet and made the pastry soggy.  The better choice is pastry cream, which is quite similar to pudding but holds up better.  The King Arthur cookbook has a fussy version that requires you to separate eggs and fold in whipped cream, but it has a bunch of great ideas for flavor variations.  On the other hand, the version below is quite simple, but takes to flavoring equally well.  Make the pastry cream 1 - 3 days in advance so it can chill well, and then assembly is fast and easy on the day of.

Peanut butter pastry cream
(based on a recipe from The Advanced Professional Pastry Chef)

In a saucepan, bring to a simmer

1. 2 c milk
2. 1/2 vanilla bean, scraped (or add 1 t vanilla extract at the very end)

Meanwhile, whisk together

1. 4 T cornstarch
2. 4 oz (1/2 c + 1 T) granulated sugar
3. 1/4 t salt
4. 2 eggs

Slowly whisk a third of the hot milk into the egg mixture, then whisk that back into the remainder of the milk.  Bring to a full boil and hold for at least 10 seconds, then remove from heat.  It's important to get it back up to a boil to kill enzymes in the eggs, or they'll slowly digest the cornstarch and un-thicken the cream.  Remove vanilla pod (or add extract).  Whisk in

1. 4 T butter
2. 1/2 c creamy peanut butter (optional)

Press plastic wrap over surface and chill thoroughly.  I mix the eggs up in a 4 c Pyrex measure, then return the finished cream to it for chilling -- cuts down on the dishes to wash, and I figure the boiling-hot cream will safely sterilize any bits of raw egg left in the cup.  This recipe makes about 3 c of pastry cream, though you can stretch it further (if desired) by folding in a cup or two of whipped cream at the end.

Éclair dough (pâte à choux)
(from the King Arthur Baker's Companion)

In a saucepan, bring to a rolling boil

1. 1 c water
2. 1 stick (1/2 c) butter
3. 1/4 t salt

Pull off heat and dump in

1. 5 1/4 oz (1 1/4 c) flour

Return to heat and stir vigorously until the dough comes together into a single mass.  Cook about 1 minute.  Pull off the heat and allow to cool until you can comfortably stick a finger in it (about 140 F), about 5 minutes.  Transfer to a mixer and beat in, one at a time

1. 4 eggs

After beating in the last egg, beat for at least 2 more minutes.  Doing the eggs one at a time and beating the dough at the end are important -- I glossed over this once, and the dough didn't really rise.  The times I remembered, it turned out beautifully.

Transfer the dough to a large zip-top plastic bag, placing it near one of the bottom corners.  Snip away that corner, then pipe out finger-sized pieces of dough onto a baking sheet fitted with parchment paper or a Silpat.  I get three rows of six or seven.  Wet a finger and use it to flatten any little "tails" that are still sticking up where you pulled the bag away.

Bake at 450 F for 15 mintues, then drop the heat to 350 F for another 20 minutes.  Pull out the éclairs, poke their ends with a paring knife to let out any trapped steam, and return to the oven for a final 5 minutes.  Remove and cool on racks.

Chocolate glaze
(King Arthur Baker's Companion)

In the microwave (or over a double boiler) melt together

1. 1 T butter
2. 1 oz unsweetened baking chocolate

Beat these together, then beat in

1. 1 T hot tap water
2. 1/2 c (2 oz) confectioners' sugar

To assemble éclairs, cut the pastries in half horizontally and fill with cream.  Spoon chocolate glaze over top.  (If you want to be generous with the chocolate, make a double batch.)  They keep for several days, but they're really transcendant when they're first made -- after just a few minutes, they start to get a bit soggy.  If possible, fill them just before serving for best effect!

Bûche de Noël (Yule Log cake)

After Katy and I made gingerbread houses for Evan and his friends to decorate, I got to thinking about holiday baking.  I decided it might be fun to try another classic show piece, the yule log -- maybe as a treat to celebrate my parents 35th anniversary when we went down to visit.  Two days later, I got this email from my mom:

Should we make something fabulous for dessert? I've always wanted to try one of these - Buche-de-Noel-with-Marzipan-Mushrooms

Great minds think alike, I guess.  So away we went.  There are lots of recipes on the internet, but some are pretty questionable -- the first cake recipe was a disaster that called for mixing melted chocolate with water, leading to gritty, nasty clumps of seized chocolate in the cake.  (That cake was reincarnated a few days later as a trifle, but that's another story.)  Eventually we cobbled together the necessary components from trusted sources, though, and the result was delicious!  Although I'm not known for, er, pretty food, decorating it was really straightforward too.

Jelly Roll Cake
(from the King Arthur Flour Baker's Companion)

In a stand mixer, whisk until thick and doubled or tripled in volume

1. 4 eggs, at room temperature
2. 3/4 c (5 1/4 oz) granulated sugar

Start the eggs first, then slow add the sugar as the mixer is running.  To quickly get the eggs to room temperature, put them in a bowl and cover with hot tap water for a few minutes.  Mix in

1. 1 t vanilla extract

Sift together

1. 3/4 c (3 oz) all-purpose flour *
2. 3/4 t baking powder
3. 1/4 t salt

Gently whisk the flour mixture into the egg mixture.  If you want a chocolate cake, replace the 3/4 c flour with 1/2 c flour plus 1/4 c cocoa (sifted).  I think the vanilla cake would look more like "wood" under the frosting "bark", but chocolate did work well for me.  Grease a 10" x 15" jelly roll pan, cover the bottom in parchment paper, grease again, and dust with flour (shaking out excess).  This is a very sticky cake -- don't try cutting corners!  Pour in the batter and smooth out to an even layer.  Bake at 400 F until the center is just barely set, about 12 minutes.  Err on the side of underbaking, as an overbaked cake will crack when you try to roll it.
Invert the cake onto a smooth dish towel dusted with powdered sugar (to prevent sticking).  Actually, my cake still stuck, so I'm considering greased wax paper plus powdered sugar next time.  Starting at a short edge, roll up the cake and towel together, and let cool completely on a wire rack.

Rich Chocolate Buttercream
(from The Ultimate Southern Living Cookbook)

Traditional buttercreams require a boiled sugar syrup, but easy buttercreams like this one just whip together butter and powdered sugar.  The double chocolate makes it extra flavorful.

In a double boiler, melt

1. 2 oz unsweetened chocolate
2. 2 oz semisweet chocolate

We used two squares each of Baker's.  You could also probably use the microwave. In a stand mixer, beat until creamy

1. 2 sticks (1 c) butter

Add the melted chocolate and

1. 4 c sifted powdered sugar
2. 1/4 c cocoa, sifted
3. 1/4 c milk
4. 2 t vanilla extract

Beat until creamy and spreadable.

Assembly and Garnish

Once the cake has cooled, unroll and spread evenly with about two-thirds of the frosting.  Leave an inch or two at one of the short ends lightly frosted, as frosting tends to squish forward when the cake is rolled up.  Starting at the other short end, roll the cake back up into a log.

Using a serrated knife, cut off about three inches from one end, at an angle.  (Some people trim both ends, to show off the frosting/cake spiral, but I liked the tree-like look of the crispy cake ends.)  Gently smoosh the cut end up against one side of the roll to make a branch.  Cover the cake in the remaining frosting.  Use the tines of a fork to make a few knots by turning them in a circle, then trace out wood grain by dragging the fork gently along the cake.

We weren't up for making marzipan holly or meringue mushrooms this year, so we used some real holly leaves (washed) with some fresh cranberries that were rolled in sugar while still wet.  (Holly berries are poisonous, so just in case, we removed the leaves after taking the picture.)  Use a strainer to dust a little powdered sugar over the top to create the snow effect, if desired.

Creamed Spinach

The last year, I've really been into kale. It all started with this recipe on Orangette. And this time of year, Papa Spuds has great kale available every week.

Unfortunately, pregnant women get random cravings and aversions, and kale is currently on Katy's naughty list. So we ordered spinach instead, which would be fine -- but this was not your tender, sweet, salad-ready baby spinach. This was rugged, leathery, muddy spinach that had been fighting off the cold weather tooth and nail.  Mature spinach, to put it delicately.  I was worried it was going to be inedible, actually.

Creaming saves the day.  There's no magic chemistry to creaming spinach (or corn, which also loves to be creamed).  But it sure is delicious.  This is a fairly high fat version, which doesn't hurt the deliciousness of course, but you could eliminate the butter and replace the cream with milk and it would still be fine.  The cornstarch gives body to the sauce, which is particularly important for the low-fat version.
In a medium pot, cook until wilted, stirring contantly

1. 1 large bunch spinach with stems, washed, dried, and coarsely chopped (about 8 oz.)
2. 1 T butter
3. salt to taste

I think you can skip this step and immediately add the next ingredients, but this is the way I actually tried it last night.  If you're omitting the butter, definitely skip ahead -- don't try wilting the spinach in a dry pot.  Whisk together

1. 1/2 c half-and-half
2. 1 1/2 t cornstarch
3. fresh ground black pepper
4. few grates fresh nutmeg
5. 1/4 t smoked paprika

It's important to blend the cornstarch into the cold cream before heating, so that it doesn't clump.  Stir into the spinach and simmer over low heat, covered, until the spinach is tender and the sauce is thickened, about 10 minutes.  You could replace the paprika with a little cayenne, or some Tabasco, or a touch of chipotle puree -- anything spicy.  But it really needs that little touch to wake it up.  The same basic recipe also works for corn, although I'd drop the spices and stick to salt and pepper.

As a footnote, cornstarch is a really useful thickener.  Like flour, the starch molecules unwind and thicken the liquid they're suspended in when heated to near boiling.  But unlike flour, which generally has to be cooked in a roux to get rid of the raw taste, cornstarch doesn't taste like much of anything.  It's also quite efficient as a thickener -- you need about 1 T cornstarch per cup, as opposed to 2 T of flour.

Acidified Austrian Potato Salad

I love potato salad (of all types), but I have a problem:  mine always ends up half way to mashed potatoes by the time I'm done.  I guess there's a magic moment when the potatoes are tender but will still hold their shapes, but I never find it.  In an effort to avoid crunchy potatoes, I always overcook them.

However, I learned from Cook's Illustrated that potatoes respond to acid the same way beans do.  That is, acidic conditions keep the cell walls of beans from breaking down and becoming tender, and (slightly) basic conditions promote faster "cooking".  But potatoes cook a lot faster than beans, so instead we can use a little bit of acid -- about 2 T per quart -- to protect them from overcooking.  Conveniently, they seem to cook to the perfect tender-firm texture for potato salad, and then just hold there for another 5 minutes or so!

This particular recipe is similar to a German or Austrian style potato salad, but the same technique would work for a vinaigrette- or mayonnaise-based salad.  Still, this one is well worth a try -- it's got great flavors, and it's actually pretty healthy.

In a 12-inch skillet, bring to the boil

1. 2 pounds Yukon Gold or other potatoes, peeled and cubed
2. 1 c chicken broth
3. 1 c water
4. 1 t salt
5. 1 T sugar
6. 1 T vinegar (scant)

Reduce heat;  cover and simmer until tender, about 15 minutes.  Uncover and increase heat for 2 minutes to reduce liquid to about 1/2 cup.  (If you have more or less, you'll have to drain the potatoes, measure the liquid, and then discard some or supplement with water.  If it looks like about 1/2 cup though, just dump it all in!)  Mash together

1. 1/2 c potato cooking liquid
2. 1 T vinegar
3. 1 T Dijon mustard
4. 1/4 c vegetable oil
5. 1/2 c cooked potatoes

Fold in

1. remaining potatoes
2. 3/4 c finely chopped red onion (1 small)
3. 2 T minced cornichons or kosher dill pickles
4. 2 T minced fresh chives
5. salt and pepper to taste

Serve warm or chilled.